Happy October!Greetings Radiant Beings, The following seven newsletters will tie together, so grab a pen, journal, and quiet spot and get ready to self-study. For the next seven months, we will focus on a different question about building more positive relationships with ourselves and others. If you want better relationships, then carry on; if not, send this email to someone who may be interested in changing the layout of their relationships. For this to work, you must remember that this is about your self-examination, not examining and diagnosing the flaws in others. We love to study others and find their faults; it is a "fun" distraction, albeit not helpful. When you start to analyze others, it is time to take a break, get up, move, breathe deeply and remind yourself this is about you, not them. Often our examination and fault finding in others diverts us from our faults, and we end up cutting another person's head off to make ourselves taller. The following seven newsletters will focus on the seven questions or topics below. The issues will provide the background for providing us with several self-evaluation questions. For this to work, you must study yourself, evaluate yourself, and hold yourself accountable if you hope to have a good relationship with yourself and others. The seven questions are: How truthful are you? How faithful are you? How sincere are you? How tolerant are you? How patient are you? How accepting are you? How self-sacrificing are you?
Without further delay, let's get started with the first topic, truthfulness. We often exist from a place of our ego and not our Soul, and living in this manner causes us to lie to protect the ego. Examine your relationships; which relationships are ego-centered and which are Soul centered? If you live in a place of ego in a relationship, you are constantly manipulating and jockeying your position to receive something from the other person; this could be material, emotional, energetic, or physical. We control relationships to combat our lack. We are deluding ourselves by negotiating our relationships with others, thinking we will ultimately eliminate our lack by holding the position of power or playing the martyr. If we examine these relationships, it looks like the following scenarios. The first scenario would have one person pretending to be more than they are. They could give the impression that they are more spiritual, wealthy, intelligent, and powerful there are many options to choose from for this to play out. This dynamic puts one of the players on top or gives the perceived upper hand to them. The dynamic is that I am exceptional; you are lucky to have me in your life. I'm pretty spectacular. You are really "blessed" “to have me" Person B starts to feel so fortunate to have this person giving them their "love," and they begin to act in ways to get noticed by their "person." In the second scenario, Person A plays the martyr doing everything in the relationship, hoping to receive love from their person. The hope is to buy the "love" from their chosen individual. They find themselves doing things to please their person, hoping to receive the coveted attention they crave. Both scenarios derive from a place of lack. Playing either of these roles is not truthful and creates codependence. The yoga of relationships is not about codependence but about standing on your own two feet, and that will never happen in a relationship based on lack. When we establish relationships based on this dynamic, we are positioning ourselves to receive stuff (clothing, shoes, cars, jewelry), sex, adoration, praise, attention, having someone do things for us, cooking, and cleaning. Sooner or later, we must accept the truth of the situation that we are lying to ourselves and others. That realization brings the awareness that we have been using others as pawns and toys to feed our egos (remember, egos feel lack, not the Soul), which is a very violent act. If it is a soul relationship, there is no game playing to get anything; the foundation for a soul is truthfulness and being truthful about who you are, examining why you do the things you do, and sharing that with the other person.
What does being truthful mean to you? What percentage of your life are you truthful? When have you been dishonest? What causes you to be untruthful? When you are living in Satya, how does it feel? What relationships are you the most deceitful? Why are you deceitful in these relationships? How honest are you to yourself? To answer this question, you must be brutally honest and radically accepting for this question. Have you ever lived with a lie? Are you living with a lie? Why did you, or are you living with a lie? How has it impacted your inner strength, determination, and spiritual growth? On a scale of 1-10, do you live in accordance with your Soul or ego? Why? What steps can you take to be more truthful to yourself and others?
In Loving Service, Ranjani
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