Happy January!Greetings Radiant Beings, We leave 2022 with many of us having celebrated one or more of these holidays: Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, Bodhi Day, Boxing Day, and New Year's Eve, while many of us celebrated no holidays. If you celebrated or did not celebrate, there is still the excitement of the New Year. We are happy that the old year is gone, and with it comes the opportunity to reinvent ourselves. There is excitement at the prospect of becoming a "new" person or at least an improved model of our old version. To many of us, a new person implies being sexier and wealthier, traveling to exotic places, and increasing the information in our minds. Unfortunately, becoming that new person does not mean being more tolerant, compassionate, loving, generous, or less reactionary. We want to focus on the external as we believe that is where our happiness lies. We must remember that the kingdom of Atman is within, which also means that is where our happiness is. The problem is we try to remake ourselves according to society's standards in our New Year's resolutions. Reinventing ourselves becomes problematic in two ways; the first is we focus only on the external world rather than on our inner world. Secondly, approximately only 46% are still plugging away at their goals in about six months, which means that others have already given up the dream. Giving up on our resolutions leaves us feeling inadequate and sorry for ourselves. Or the opposite, we achieve our goals and are left unhappy and unfulfilled. On the yoga journey, it is not so much about making grand plans you can't keep or sense feeding (feeding the senses keeps us chasing the elusive happiness in the external world). Instead, yoga is about taking baby steps to create lasting changes and make you a different person at the end of the following year. What does it mean to be a transformed person? It doesn't mean to be more affluent, more organized, traveling more, saving more money, or not smoking or drinking. You may accomplish these goals, but they will ultimately only make you happier if you have the right relationship with them. Chances are high that if you have been diligent and sincere with your practice, all other facets of your life will improve. These are the byproducts of genuine, dedicated practice, but more importantly, you will be a different person; that is the ultimate resolution to make and achieve. We must remember that, as Swamiji said succinctly, "The world has nothing to offer you as far as enlightenment is concerned." Enlightenment is the ultimate realization that all humans crave. It is the epitome of the right relationship with yourself and all others. This zenith of the perfect relationship includes the relationship with your inner dweller and the inner dweller within all others. What does it mean to be an improved version of your old self? Karma has less impact on the emotional roller coaster you call your life. You are more neutral with your interactions, meaning you have fewer enemies and more friends. You lead a more equipoised life and set an example to others of what practice can do for a person. As Krishna explains to Arjuna in the Bhagavad Gita (2.38), you should transcend pleasure and pain to maintain a state of equilibrium in times of profit, loss, honor, and insult. You meet life and all situations with the same composure. When this happens, you, my friend, are making strides in becoming a yogi! If you are diligent in your practice of self-study, your practice will change, and you will change. You will become a more refined and integrated human being and cultivate better relationships with yourself and others. If you continue reading, you are on the path of self-inquiry so let's get started on this month's relationship introspection. How tolerant are you? To understand the word tolerant better, we should examine the synonyms open-minded, forgiving, benevolent, understanding, and magnanimous. These synonyms may make it more straightforward for you when answering the questions. Still, before we get to the questions, I can personally attest to how tolerance can help a relationship strengthen and evolve. A couple of years ago, I was going through a highly challenging period in my life, and it was affecting my relationship with my partner as he was growing weary of my struggle. I had not fully processed what was happening to me, and I was struggling to understand and have the right relationship with my prarabdha karma. Our teacher explicitly told Riley I needed tolerance and patience during this time. Riley had a choice. He could have decided this was too much for him and gotten out of dodge, but he buckled up for the next few months for a tumultuous ride through my karma which became our karma. I'm glad he stayed for the journey and gave me the space, patience, and tolerance I needed. While it was difficult for me, and I was adding extra stress to our arranged relationship (another story for another day, perhaps a future book?), Riley followed the directives of our teacher. Because of this, we made it through an exceedingly challenging period with more love and understanding for ourselves and each other. If you can show tolerance to another person, go for it. Speaking from the other side of someone who received it, I can say, "it made all the difference in the world for my healing." It was a beautiful experience that someone could see me for who I was at this time with no judgments or condemnation. He accepted me where I was even though it was different from how he would have handled the situation. Remember, we want our umbrella to be big enough for all that come under it, not just those like us. With that in mind, it is time for self-inquiry. What does tolerance mean to you? How do you display tolerance? Are you displaying intolerance at present? Examine how accepting you are of people who are different. We have different religious ideologies, socioeconomic statuses, sexual preferences, educational levels, and dietary habits (vegan vs. carnivore); this is a small list. I invite you to examine your life and note where you have not been tolerant of a person that is different from you. When have you been in a situation where someone you loved was not tolerant of a life decision you made? How did it make you feel? How would you have liked it to have been handled? How would it have made it different? When have you been intolerant to someone you loved, and what were the results? How would it have been different if you had embraced them with tolerance and patience?
Happy Contemplating! Next up is patience. In-Service Ranjani
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